Audience of Flowers – The Love Project

Performing has always been a huge part of my life from speech competitions, choir concerts and tours, dance routines, band, playing guitar and school musicals. And with each of these things comes hours and hours of practicing – sometimes past midnight. However, when the performance date arrived I would be extremely nervous and I would think of the worst possible scenario. Yet, my family would always encourage me by saying that no matter what, I would do my very best.

I can remember anxiously standing behind the curtain waiting for it to draw open. When it did, the first thing I would do with the bright lights fixed upon me, is scan the audience for the familiar faces I call family. As soon as I was able to lock eyes with them, any feeling of nervousness or pressure suddenly dissipated because I had my support system cheering me on. Even so, it is challenging to express how much love I have for my family because they mean so much to me. More than words can ever describe. For that reason, I haven’t experienced a deeper feeling of reassurance than the many moments of spotting them in the audience, all the while smiling like a maniac because I have never truly felt a greater intensity of love. Not even a single, wrong note could have altered my attitude. The amount of happiness, encouragement, and affection staring back at me was worth the hours of effort I had put forth for every performance.

When I think of the love I have for my family I am reminded of the small moments that hold so much meaning. I think of my birthday parties growing up and how my family was so keen on making it special every year. They would buy or bake my favourite birthday cake and allow me to invite every kid in my grade, even if it meant the house would be complete chaos. Or when my Papa would play his version of “Happy Birthday” on the harmonica and tell me to make a wish while blowing out the candles. Through moments like these, I am eternally grateful for the sacrifices, time, and effort that others sought to make me happy and without a doubt, I would sacrifice all that I had for them too. Sacrifices are a small part of showing someone how much we love and care for them by validating that their wants and needs are equally or of higher value than our own.

“Love is putting people before yourself and everything happening in your life. If you’re not willing to sacrifice everything you have, do, and are for something then it isn’t love.” – Anonymous

There are so many precious memories that I have with my family from playing kick the can till midnight at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm, Slurpee runs with the car windows rolled down while blasting U2, and the tradition of ordering Marino’s pizza to celebrate any type of occasion. Each of these special details jumps out at me when I think of family. It’s important to have moments like these because it builds positive relationships, communication skills, one’s identity and a sense of humour. The way that each of us are raised is the basis for how we will treat others as we enter adulthood and learn how to love. Above all, my family continues to teach me how to love others and to love myself.

“I love my family and would do just about anything for them if it would help them. We might not always get along, but at the end of the day we still are here for each other. No matter how far I wander or what happens in life I never doubt that they love me, and I love them.” – Tegan Jones

Even though we are first taught how to love from our caregivers, family is not necessarily those who share the same genetic makeup as ourselves. Therefore, when we view ourselves as a flower growing in the soil, it is OK if the flowers growing around us do not pertain the same characteristics that we do. Whomever you define as your family should unconditionally love and support you throughout your life and no matter the circumstances, show kindness, forgiveness, and patience. We do not get to choose our family, but this proves its significance through the underlying truth that who we consider family is all that really matters.

I experienced an element of this when I moved to a new city and I couldn’t depend on my family as much. I have gained a deeper appreciation and love for them since moving. But it has definitely been difficult living independently for the first time. Furthermore, I’ve always struggled with the meaning of home because as a child, I moved between houses a lot, so I began to believe that home is not a house, but wherever my family is. However, I realized through relocating independently, I am so desperate to feel what ‘home’ is that I look for it wherever I am. I have started seeing ‘home’ and ‘family’ in people and places that do not have a direct relation to me.

This has developed my sense of love on more of a global spectrum because I’m searching for this feeling of family and home within people who remind me of my precious memories. It may sound strange, but I am provided with a lot of comfort when seeing a mother with her child laughing or a father waiting for his kids to toddle off the school bus. I think this piece of insight is important on a worldly view because if we all have this sense of community and feeling of ‘home’, we can understand people and their backgrounds. People will be more likely to share their ideas, connect with others and see each other as those within their inner circle. An interesting way to analyze this idea is to recognize that there is a choice in loving our family and the people we see an element of family within. This is amplified by the words of a university professor I know:

“There are only two people in the world, that without thinking, I would die for. You know the cliché ‘take a bullet for’? Those are my two boys. When I walk into a classroom and I stand in front of the class and I look at the 20 to 30 to 40 people all looking back at me, I feel an element of that as well. It’s a decision to love and I know when I first became aware of that. I was a high school teacher for many years and in high school there are often kids who drive you crazy and they have a way of soaking into you. I’ll never forget one day in February. There was three or four guys who were driving me completely crazy and all the sudden one of these guys said something that was exactly like something my 11-year-old son would say. And I’m going, ‘that’s just like him’! And after that I couldn’t ever go back because after that, every time he would drive me a little nuts I’m going, ‘that’s exactly what Jonathon would do’. I saw them (students) as I would see these two children who I would die for. So whenever I’m in that place, when I’m really angry with someone, I can’t help but think, ‘hey, you’re like my kid’.” – Lloyd Kornelsen

At some point, all relationships endure tough times when souls need mending, hearts need strengthening, and our actions need reevaluating. It all surfaces through the concept that family is forever, and we are never done building from a place of love. With this in mind, it is important to be there for your family as you would want them to be consistently supportive for you. We are human, we make mistakes, and sometimes our pain is taken out on the people closest to us. Through hardships we have the choice to be empathetic, to listen, and to be open to understanding a different way of thinking, even if we disagree. Nonetheless, whoever we define as our family are an important staple to our lives whether their seeds withhold identical attributes or not.

“Family is all you have and all you know. The hardships test your love for each other. Must ride the waves, not create them. Say things now, don’t wait.” – Jennifer Badgley

“Love is warm, it softens the cold-hearted and opens the hardened heart.” – Victoria Han

Overall, the relationship that I have with my family has not always been easy. There have been many challenges, especially throughout my teenage years, but the moral is that through every experience, good or bad, we worked through the hardships as a team. There is no such pain that can break the bonds I have tightly woven together with the people I love. So, when I think of what love means in regards to family, I remember the feeling of first spotting them in an audience.

Written by Tessa R. Adamski