Introducing the World as a Garden – The Love Project

As a child, I can recall sitting in the backseat listening to country music while my Dad drove the car. I remember asking him why most artists choose to write about love. He told me that the artists choose to express what they value the most – often being the love they have for a significant other or the experience of heartbreak. From that time forward, every song I listened to directed my attention to the concept of love and society’s obsession of finding it. I have since become more aware of the love portrayed in all forms of media by viewing the world as a garden and how every element influences modern society.

I think most people are dumbfounded by the blooming love captured in on-screen films or the fairy-tales written in books because they crave a romanticized love story. The cheesy lines leave those with optimistic gleaming eyes for the same type of love revealed within the storyline, but it’s a delusion. People become disappointed that their relationship is not like the romance shown within the media and they try to find it in someone else. This dangerous cycle repeats and can be blamed for a fraction of increased divorce rates. Movies and books develop the fantasy that every person will magically slip into the glass slipper of their partner’s life and live happily ever after. Non-fiction stories often depict that the issues occurring between the characters can be fixed with a magic wand. In reality there is no such predicament. The dramatic plot typically reveals that the misfortune will work itself out in our favour, giving the audience or reader a false depiction of love. Some ‘happy endings’ are a divorce, restraining order, criminal charges entailing that justice has been served, or the thorns of a relationship dictating a heart-wrenching farewell.

People attempt to mimic the idealistic date portrayed in the media because their perception attests it’s what their partner desires. It’s the little things like hand-holding, wearing their jacket when it’s cold outside, holding the door, paying for the date and ending the night with a typical door step kiss. These traditional aspects of dating originally shaped the way people fall in love. However, today’s generation focuses on ‘couple goals’. A term that induces a standard of dating people aspire to achieve – which tends to evoke feelings of jealousy and competitiveness. Dating has become less about connecting with your partner and more about impressing the world using photographic proof to broadcast the money in your pocket.

More recently, people have gained a greater lust for attention and lack the commitment to make a relationship persevere. Society has created this ‘messing around’ kind of love that offers a minimal amount of effort to be given in the relationship which makes people more susceptible to be hurt. Dating apps establish a swipe left or right method that enforces little attachment and eagerness to form a deep connection. For example, a television series such as the Bachelor/Bachelorette demonstrates the lack of patience to develop a long-lasting relationship. All of which influence society by giving an unrealistic expectation of romance.

On another note, the American dream has single-handedly fed the world a concept that everyone must fall in love, marry and live happily with their family. People are pushed into finding someone to marry because the fear of being alone brings shame and disappointment. As if being single and happy is less acceptable than falling into a mediocre relationship. This generation is so concerned about having a diamond on their finger that they forget the reason why it was put there from the beginning. And it’s because everyone is so keen on finding that feeling of love within someone else. People are infatuated with the idea of an epic romance and so they will continue to scoop up the media’s portrayal of a perfect affair of the heart.

“Everybody in society is always looking for the feeling of love, we even make and sell things now these days that help to cope with the void of not having love. Love is not something that people often talk about out loud because we are afraid of it, even though we desire it at the same time. But overall to me love is weird, because everybody in the world has a different interpretation of it, but that’s what makes it so great and beautiful. We are all looking for the same feeling at the end.” – Luis Raúl Caro

After completing all nine perspectives of love while interviewing people for the written portion and the short film, I realized one commonality. There is a lingering fear that has been installed within society because of the dangers of being sexually, emotionally and/or physically harmed. Most people are afraid to be vulnerable with their neighbours and strangers because they are skeptical of their intentions. This prevents people from giving and receiving love and it also separates the world from establishing a global sense of community. Therefore, I think it’s essential to break the barriers that have formed between people by initiating conversations that will bridge the gap concerning trustworthiness. People can create a sense of love for everyone they meet by being kind, taking the time to listen and to always offer their helping hand. This concept of spreading love through understanding the differences and similarities of others and how awareness is key to creating a community is intensified with the words:

“I grew up in a big, complicated family, that taught me that love is expressed in a lot of different ways. I learned to look for love in the little things in life much more than in anything extravagant. To me love has come to mean a cup of tea waiting on the counter after I come in from a cold day, someone sitting in their car in my driveway waiting until I get inside safely, a smile across a room to remind me that I’m not alone, anyone taking a photo with me to preserve a memory or anytime somebody says something reminded them of me or a moment we shared. I watch for these things, not only directed to me, but to others. I try to return these little gestures to those around me. I try to understand the way other people express love. People shine when they do. And learning to understand this has helped me better love myself and others. Everyone needs to be reminded that someone cares about them. I’ve learned that recognizing the little things that make people (including yourself) happy is incredibly important and lets everyone know you are paying attention.” – Rikki Bergen

Written By Tessa R. Adamski