Moving Forward and the Inner Strength Needed to Create a Healthier Mind-set

Within the past six months, my life has changed so much that most days I wake up and I don’t know how I was able to overcome everything that was thrown my way. I just did whatever I had to do each day and it was so unbelievably hard, but there was no other choice. I couldn’t stop and take a break to think, contemplate, to really focus on my own personal needs and how I could improve myself. There was so much going on that I didn’t want to get behind and so I just kept pushing more and more of these problems away without actually dealing with them. This is an issue that needs to be addressed because like myself, I can imagine that so many others may push their problems away for various reasons which eventually lead to a monstrous build up of complete chaos. For me, this was my ultimate breaking point and I truly hope that by reading this people can learn that it is OK to take time for yourself to sort through the issues that you are dealing with in your life in order to move on from them.

In life I have learned that no matter what challenges are thrown my way, I cannot slowly crumble and hide. Instead, I need to challenge myself by facing the obstacles that scare me. Doing so takes a lot of courage but it pays off in the end and when I look back at the things that once brought anxiety, I feel really proud of myself for overcoming it all! Sometimes people have told me, “Tessa, I admire your positivity and I don’t know how you manage to be so happy through everything you’ve been through.” And it sounds so easy, but there is so much more behind a smile that is lit upon someone’s face, my friend. Mental strength is something someone must gain overtime. You don’t have to go through a lot to gain strength either. It’s more about how you choose to react to a situation and how you handle it with your attitude.

Inner strength is how you can look at a situation you experienced or are presently going through and be optimistic when others may have little hope. Inner strength is looking at how badly you were mistreated and to try to see the other perspective to the situation, helping to identify where things may have went wrong. When a loved one passes away, having the inner strength to take the time to grieve and to celebrate the beautiful memories shared between each other is a vital part in order to receive proper closure. People will break your heart and you might break someone else’s heart too. Life may not go the way you want it to leaving you emotionally drained. Often when something is troubling us we tend to ask ourselves “why is this happening to me?” It’s most definitely hard to accept at the time because everything is so fresh and unfair and you may feel very alone. Even when we can’t afford to buy something or our dreams seem so far from attaining, having the inner strength to separate the needs and wants is a huge step in figuring out what is most important to you. Recognizing these factors are all examples of inner strength and when you can find ways to cope it will lead you to a healthier state of mind and down the path of moving forward.

Furthermore, having the inner strength to move on from the difficulties we face is not an easy task and it is acceptable to prioritize your own needs before others. As much as it is important to be there for your family and friends or to help any person in need, your personal well-being is critical. After all, it comes down to whether you like who you are, the activities you participate in, and where your life takes you with the choices you make. Even when a tragedy hits, society tells us we must move on quickly, but it is OK to relish in your thoughts, absorb everything going on around you and to move on when you are ready. Coming to terms with your weaknesses is another challenge that is difficult to face, but again is a vital part to having inner strength. And when you do put yourself before others for your own well-being, know that asking for help does not mean you are weak. Asking for help is a sign of inner strength and it not only shows that you recognize when enough is enough and that it is OK to reach out, but also that people do care. Reaching out is hard to get past because we feel vulnerable, but talking about how you feel is so very important and no words can reiterate this enough. I was so scared for the longest time to open up about my feelings because I believed the thoughts that swirled in my head didn’t matter, but they do and so do yours. There are always people who are willing to listen and who can help show you the good in the world.

I constantly battle mental health issues but I know that by trying to spread happiness each day not only creates positive energy that can be passed on, but it also reminds me that happiness is a choice. Every day is a new chance to make a change and if one option is blocked there are plenty of other opportunities. So instead of resting in a state of gloom, look at the other choices open. Also understand that mistakes do not get fixed overnight… They are a process of learning, one of which you must test out to feel for what is right. One of my favourite teachers, a woman who has helped me through some of my darkest days told me that “every day you make the decision to how your day is going to go.” Using a cupcake analogy she stated, “each day you start out with a plain cupcake and you decide whether you are going to sprinkle it or not.” These words have resonated in my heart because of the truth behind them. Another way of looking at it spoken by Lamise, a yoga teacher, is “your outlook on life is only 10% of your current situation and 90% what you make of it.”  Thus, relating back to the concept of moving on from the things that happen in our lives allows us to realize that these things take time. Being trapped in your own self doom isn’t going to help in any way. When life brings disappointment, the feeling of being ‘stuck’ typically surges and that is the time to allow yourself a break.

It is also substantial to remember that anyone can grieve or become upset from a situation. This should be common sense however, recently there have been a few tragedies in my personal life and I have noticed that some people tend to question the emotional impact and relation it has to others. I find this ridiculous because all situations affect people in different ways and they may connect a person to the incident. I wanted to bring this to attention because everyone has the right to feel saddened over a tragic event that occurred within their community. People can become offended or hurt easily; get triggered by certain actions, words or anything that may bring on sad emotions. This is why it is so important to be mindful of the lives of others because you never truly know how a simple issue to you can be a detrimental problem to someone else.

There is also a huge misconception involving the thought of happiness. There is the true type of happiness that comes from within and there is the illusion of happiness that people show on the outside to make their life appear perfect and ‘happy’ to others. Although someone’s life may seem wonderful and that they are fulfilled with joy 24/7, does not mean they are generally happy and living a beautiful life like they present. It is important to note that everyone has their own battles to fight and that they may not inform you of every detail causing them distress. With that being said, it is extremely detrimental to be kind, patient, and most importantly, loving to all of those who cross your path. With so much hate circling around in today’s society, the least you could do is spread love by showing people you care and appreciate them every day.

Overall, it is OK to fall apart sometimes as long as you can get back up again and learn how to rebuild yourself. We cannot add the battles of yesterday to the battles of tomorrow! People often think that we must always make the best of a bad situation which in most cases is true but by doing so we can never give ourselves a break. Instead we just keep taking on new tasks without taking the time to think about what has happened or what is happening. Therefore take everything day by day and think about what inner strength means to you.

Written by Tessa R. Adamski